It’s the dawn of a new decade and a lot of “top 10 movies of the 2010s” lists came out just before New Year's. When I was chatting with some friends about their top picks, it took me quite a while to figure out mine. I never thought in a million years I would say this, but I don’t really like going to the movies anymore.
Going to the movies used to be absolutely magical to me. I loved being in that darkened space and being transported into a different world. I loved the collective experience of watching something with an audience. I loved feeling a Danny Elfman soundtrack rumble in my chest, even though all of his soundtracks kinda sound the same. My life completely revolved around movies. Literally, I studied Film in University and sought out to have a career in filmmaking.
Even when I hit my teens, grew into a film snob, and preferred indie flicks, I still loved going to the theatre and seeing mainstream movies. Back in the day, there were times when you could go see a Hollywood movie and it wouldn’t be total crap. The Exorcist, Goodfellas, When Harry Met Sally, The Others, Moulin Rouge, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Shaun of the Dead, and No Country for Old Men were mainstream Hollywood movies that were pretty good.
But over the last decade, movies and going to the movies have really gone downhill. Sure once in a while you’ll find gems like Get Out but they’re few and far between. And I’m not the only one who feels this way.
According to a Bloomberg article called “Hollywood Had a Terrible 2017”, in 2017 movie theatre attendance was the lowest it had been in a generation. In the New York Times article “How Will the Movies (As We Know Them) Survive the Next 10 Years?”, journalist Kyle Buchanan assembled a think tank of industry movers and shakers to get their insights on the future of going to the movies. The general consensus is that with so much streaming content available, it’s really challenging to get people to put on pants and leave the house to spend money on anything that isn’t a blockbuster, and even that’s not a guarantee. But I have some theories of my own as to why we aren’t going to the movies anymore.
Firstly, trailers really suck now. When I was little, I would be genuinely stressed on the ride to the theatre because I was worried we would miss the trailers. They had that classic trailer-voice-over-guy whose voice was that perfect combo of being authoritative and dramatic, yet soothing like a wise grandpa. He would list all of the award-winning actors and deliver that same passion to the loser actors who hadn’t won anything. It would have been nice to have heard a trailer-voice-over-woman for once, but nowadays, no one narrates them. Sure, we have title cards, but it’s not the same.
Trailers also used to have a variety of music, but now, they’re all filled with extremely slowed-down versions of happy pop songs - usually used ironically to contrast scenes from a gripping political drama or horrific images from the newest movie in the Saw universe. Cutting the trailer to the beat of the music is a big thing, and it drives me crazy. If I saw it once in a while, it would be okay, but every action movie trailer has a sequence of shots where someone is running or shooting a gun or a building is crumbling to the beat of “dun, dun, dun!”
And has anyone noticed that, for some strange reason, a lot of trailers have an ominous “Bomp! Bomp! Bomp!” sound that’s like a cross between a tuba, clanking metal, and a space-age foghorn? What drives me even crazier is that virtually none of these films take place on water or on a coastline, therefore not requiring the sound of a weird foghorn!
Over the last decade, I’ve also found movies in theatres to be just plain boring. Originality has kind of gone out the window. There are way too many remakes of my childhood favourites. I’m sorry, but even with the combined amazingness of Donald Glover and Beyonce, I didn’t really like The Lion King. It was flat. Totally, totally flat. Then there are the sequels! My God, the sequels! The amount of films that take place in the same, yet different superhero universes is staggering. Dear Studios, I can’t keep up with nor do I want to go see the sequels to a prequel’s sequel. Also, if one more movie takes place during the ’80s, I will barf.
Lastly, movie theatres themselves are weird. There aren’t nearly as many people there during the busy weekend evening showtimes. Over the last few years - sometimes even with big blockbusters - I’d say any time I’ve gone to the theatre it’s only about one third full. It feels so lonely and just off. Experiencing a movie with a big audience is so much fun, and today with social media we can have that experience to an extent with everyone talking about something they just streamed, but I miss being in a packed theatre and hearing everyone’s laughter or gasps. One of my favourite movie-watching experiences ever was when I saw Shaun of the Dead with my sister, and a man had the most contagious laugh, making the funny bits even funnier.
There are even fewer people working in the theatres too. I always got a kick out of getting recommendations from the cheese-eatin’ high school kids at the ticket counter, and now I have to deal with robots to get my tickets.
Getting a snack is a completely bizarre experience. Some theatres have uber-expensive pick-your-own candy bins like the kind you’d see bulk superstores, which is totally stupid because everyone knows you buy candy in bulk somewhere else then smuggle it into the theatre. While purchasing your candy you can also buy everything from stuffed animals to T-shirts to mugs to movie socks and movie blankets. Socks and blankets! Instead of theatres simply turning down the temperature to something that’s tolerable and energy-efficient, they are selling $20 blankets to movie-goers. Hollywood has always been focused on making money, but now it’s really, really focused on making money.
James Cameron has four Avatar sequels in the works, with Avatar 2 scheduled for a December 2021 release. He seems pretty excited about them. I’m not, and I doubt others will want to get out of their sweatpants, travel to a theatre, and put on 3D glasses coated with other people’s cooties.
There’s a kind of sadness I feel knowing that this amazing experience we’ve had since the invention of film might go away. I want my children and my children’s children to feel like they’re travelling through outer space or a horrific serial killer is lunging at them. When they’re an appropriate age, of course.
I’m trying to be optimistic. Maybe movie theatres will operate more like theatrical theatres and they’ll only be open on certain occasions or maybe they’ll only be open in the evenings. And when the robots take over, maybe they’ll be programmed to be like awkward high school kids. Ya never know.
I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve said, “Nah, let’s wait ’til it comes on Netflix.” And believe me, I love the convenience of bingeing a bunch movies curled up next to my boyfriend, eating snacks that didn’t make us take out a second mortgage on our house, but I miss being in a darkened theatre. When I’m in my own home I get distracted by the dust bunnies I can see out of the corner of my eye, the dripping tap, or the smell of the dinner I burned earlier. Plus, if I’m watching a movie on Netflix at my parents’ place when I visit for Christmas, there’s nowhere to hide or look away if a sex scene comes on. If I was in a darkened theatre, it would help with things like that.
In the meantime, I’m still going to go to the movies. Not as often, and I’ve started only going to matinees and cheap Tuesdays, that way I don’t waste money if something sucks. I’m not going to give up on Hollywood yet; however, I will never buy a movie theatre blanket. I will smuggle in my own blanket in addition to the 1 Lb of bulk Reese’s Pieces in my purse.
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